So I've been putting off using the live stream function of the website to teach a class. I didn't understand how it worked so I avoided it. Finally I decided to give it a go. I was filled with self doubt, worried I didn't know how to "work it" but Josh, our big boy told me to just get on with doing it, but do a test run to make sure it works (don't ya love teenagers!) so I practiced and all seemed okay. Time to go live.
I had a quite a few thoughts running through my head telling myself how I didn't know how to work the technology, wondering would anyone show up, or perhaps this is a bad idea. When I get thoughts like these I do my best to turn them into positives but often find myself slipping back down that slippery slope! So anyway I gave myself a good pep talk and I opened up the website and pressed the go live button!
I could see people joining and I thought to myself "I really hope this is working!"
Anyway no comments showed up and my notifications stayed quiet so this must be a good sign, off into the class I went! One whole hour after teaching a fabulous class I signed off - yay!
Beep beep go the notifications on my phone "No sound", "CJ there's no sound", "sorry CJ I can't hear you!"
Arrrgh! Nooooo! My first reaction was one of disapointment on behalf of the beautiful souls who had shown up in support of my endeavour. Second reaction was embarasment that I hadn't realised no one could hear me. Third reaction was what a waste of time I should have checked it again before I started!
Rather than going down the path of berating myself I turned the conversation into a positive, focusing on what had gone right. I got to practice on my mat for an hour (always a bonus), I had given it a go, and most importantly I had faced my fear the worst had happened and I'm okay!
In the grand scheme of things it is certainly not a major - if you don't try you don't know! The emotions settled down and then I was just left with a thought of "oh well, that was a shame, back to doing things the way I know works!"
An image of the lotus flower came to mind. It grows up from the mud and swamp, even through the most adverse of conditions, it rises up to be a beautiful flower, a wonderful example of resilience.
Every day we are faced with situations that test us, small and big. Where we win is when we can flip the perspective, practice resilience and have a wee laugh at ourselves. If we can use the tools we learn on the mat to get through life off the mat it's always a good result! Perhaps I would have fitted in well in the era of silent movies!